“Honey” is probably the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in person, in my life, at least in my opinion. She was on some sort of dance team (not a stripper) so she was always in great shape, very athletic and toned. I have come to realize I am a big fan of an athletic female. She was maybe about 5’8” blonde hair, girl next door look, which is also my thing. Anyway I met her freshmen year at some party. Throughout my college career I’d talk to her a little bit at parties in passing. I played beer pong against her a few times as she was the roommate of one of my buddy’s girlfriends for a year. We never had any profound interaction other than simple conversations here or there but I liked her outgoing personality and she was absolutely smoking. For some reason I could never muster up the courage to speak to this girl. I had no problem speaking to any other girls but for some reason I was so taken by “Honey” that I would never approach her and try my luck. She was a Long Island girl so she had a little bit of attitude to go with her overall outgoing personality. I have always loved that little edge that Long Island girls bring to the table. That is one thing that you don’t get in Tampa. The girls with attitude here just have overall bad attitudes. Long Island girls know how to party, are a lot of fun overall but have just enough edge and whit to keep you on your toes. Long story short our interaction was minimal but all my buddies knew I had a huge thing for this girl and would always give me a heads up if she was around.
It’s maybe February of my senior year at Albany. The senior tour had not quite started but all my friends knew our days at Albany were numbered so we were always out at the bars. So we are at the infamous Michaels in Albany on a Friday night. We were all pretty plastered as we always were but not out of control drunk yet. I obviously get the heads up from my friends that “Honey” was in the building. But like always when it came to this girl I was being a huge pussy. Sometime in the middle of the night it was my turn to buy a round. All my buddies stayed where we were hanging out toward the back half of the bar near the dance floor. I ran to the front to where the bar was located and ordered us drinks. I’m waiting at the bar when I see “Honey” staring at me from about 10 feet away against the wall. I smile but like I said before I was terrified to approach this girl. I have no clue why this girl got in my head. We had similar personalities so the world might have exploded if we had ever gotten together. That’s how I will justify not talking to her. I didn’t want the world to end… Anyway I’m alone at the bar, she’s alone about 10 feet away. Much to my surprise she approaches me. In my drunken state I was in no condition to work my magic, you couple that with the fact that I could never work up the courage to approach this girl and you have a recipe for disaster. Right then and there I thought my heart was about to jump through my chest. She grabs my arm, which took me even further by surprise, and says to me “Hey Uli! What’s up? You look good tonight.” This girl just made my year and she doesn’t even know it. I was in heaven. But then I said the least smooth thing that has ever come out of my mouth. I say back to her, “You know my name?" I doubt very much you could think of a worse thing to say at that very moment. I must have sounded like the biggest idiot. I am haunted by that statement to this day. I am going to blame this on the alcohol and the shock that she actually approached me. The look on her face was priceless. Total disbelieve comes across her faces as she says, “UH- yeeeeeeaaaaaah.” While simultaneously letting go of my arm and walking away. I’m standing there in utter shock. I just blew the best opportunity I’ve ever had with this girl. She approached me, initiated contact and that is what comes out of my mouth. YOU KNOW MY NAME?! I just stand there dejected. I finally turn around, pay for our drinks and head back to my friends. While I was waiting for our drinks she approaches one of my buddies and says to him “What the hell is wrong with Uli?” He has no clue what she is talking about so she goes back to her friends. I push through the crowd with my Bud Light bottles and get back to my friends. They ask me, “What the hell did you say to “Honey”? She just came over here really confused.” I tell them the story and they just about fell over laughing at me. I begrudgingly hung out the rest of the night, dejected. I never spoke to “Honey” again even though I did see her out many more times and at a few parties before I graduated.
This is obviously not the highlight of my college career but it’s a pretty funny story that a buddy of mine brought up on the phone the other day. It is a lesson that no matter how on top of your game you are, no one is invincible. I however am scarred by this experience. Some of my friends would keep me informed as to her whereabouts from time to time as they knew this was a form of torture for me. “Honey” went on to dance for a couple of professional sports teams and I’ve recently learned that she got married not too long ago and is a personal trainer. Again friends have kept me informed to torture me. I obviously kid about being tortured still by the experience. It’s more of a joke among my friends than anything else. It’s kind of funny to think about now. I’m sure I’m not the only guy to say something stupid to a girl they liked but I’m not sure there is a worse story of blowing an opportunity with that girl. I hope this is a lesson to everyone out there on what not to say to the girl you’ve had a crush on for four years.
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