Dropping some knowledge that will blow your mind...

Since it’s been a while since my last post, I thought I would come back with a blog of real hardcore Gato Negro thoughts. I’ve had a few blogs lately that have been too serious in nature, you combine that with an extended hiatus from writing and I wouldn’t feel like myself unless I come back and piss someone off with some knowledge that I drop. In this case I will probably piss off a lot of single girls my age that read this. I don’t really care, build a bridge and get over it. This analogy came to me while drunk at some point this past weekend. No person or situation spurred this thought, it just came to me. That’s where a lot of my ridiculous thoughts are born, while drinking. I put these thoughts in note form in my phone so that I can elaborate upon them when I am sober, also I would probably forget them the next day if I didn’t. I hope no one ever finds my phone and reads my notes because they will have a lot of blog material. I sensor a lot of my thoughts as I deem them too inappropriate, most of those notes go unpublished and are used for my own entertainment. So today’s blog was one deemed inappropriate but I feel like posting it anyway. It's about single girls. This is not meant to describe every single girl out there. There are a handful of single girls who actually have themselves together and I applaud you. The ones that do have themselves together will probably not be offended by this but I have been wrong once or twice before. The ones that don’t, will think I’m a dick but that’s ok. So getting to my analogy….

Has your phone ever broken and you take it to the store of the carrier of your choosing, and they give you a refurbished phone as a replacement? Have you ever wanted to save a little bit of money so you buy a refurbished phone from said carrier instead of a new one? I’m sure some/most people have. I have broken a few phones in my day and the phone company replaced it with a refurbished phone. If you haven’t figured it out yet, I am comparing late twenties single girls to refurbished cell phones.

I know this is probably pretty harsh but let me elaborate, it’s not all bad. And again I am not saying they are all like that but I have happened to come across some refurbished phones lately. So let me explain.
When your cell phone breaks, for whatever reason, whether it’s the phones faulty build (a girl with daddy issues) or your own fault and you break your phone (you screw up the relationship) you take the phone back to the store to get a new one. This is much like a break up. Whether it was your fault, hers, or a combination of both, you end the relationship (bring the phone back to the store). The cell phone carrier then tries to fix the phone with replacement parts or whatever but you have nothing to do with what they do (you lose contact with the girl). At this point a lot of single girls I know end up slutting it up for a while then try to put their broken life back together and find a new boyfriend. This is the part where the phone company fixes the phone. The phone carrier then tries to resell this phone and represent it as good as new, but deep down you know that’s not the case. The phone (the girl) then is resold or gets into another relationship. Everyone knows when they get a refurbished phone that at some point there will be issues with the phone. It’s not new, just looks the part. At some point the phone will probably break. This is much like females my age, they have baggage. The girls with baggage are refurbished phones that are new to you but really are some other guys throw away phone/girlfriend that will probably break at some point for reasons stated above (daddy issues or issues from previous relationships). When you find out about the defects in this new phone you decide to go back to the carrier for an upgrade, and you trade it in for a newer, better model of phone (a younger girl with less baggage). There are the occasional refurbished phones that were rebuilt just fine and last for a long time. These phones should be proud of themselves for putting themselves back together, much like some late twenties single girls. I once had a refurbished blackberry bold that was a great phone and lasted until my brother bought me an iPhone as a present for being his best man. That part is not an analogy, but it would be pretty sweet if I could have turned it into one. That was just a sweet gift. On second thought, that actually is an anology. I am saying there are some nice normal single girls my age, just a little harder to find. You usually find these phones/girls through mutual acquantainces like family or friends. BOOM, I just made that an analogy!

This phenominon is not entirely the girls fault. Maybe their parents didn't hug them enough as a kid? This is my explaination for a lot of what is wrong with people. Maybe they dated a bunch of jerks that treated them like shit or cheated on them? Well that part is partially their own fault for dating multiple jerks but I can partially justify their actions if this has happened. What I'm getting at is that it is not entirely the females fault she has baggage. What you have to do is find a refurbished phone that was rebuilt nicely and you can deal with the little quirks of the phone. Or just buy a newer phone, the choice is yours.
If this offends anyone, I’m sorry that I’m not sorry. These are the thoughts that come into my brain while I drink. I do not choose to have them. They choose me.